Tales From The Road - After The Bank Holiday

Texting and Driving? Please Park And Watch This

Improving Energy Efficiency

Are you enriching the power company by paying for power you’re not using? Is the FG right to blame us for the poor power situation in the country? Let’s read and learn more:

• Do you leave appliances you’re not using on?
• After turning off, do you unplug from the sockets? Appliances that have been turned can still consume some amount of energy
• Do you use energy efficient devices, eg energy saving bulbs?
• Do you know that some phones have battery saving mode? Did you know your water dispenser has an energy saving mode? (We don’t even power our water dispenser, we get our cold water from the fridge and we boil hot water when required with a kettle on the gas cooker).
• Do you leave your taps running? Guess how the water gets into the tank? Do you know energy is required to pump the water into the storage tank?
• Do you use more of natural ventilation or forced ventilation (A/Cs, fans etc)? I know we cannot minimize the use of forced ventilation when one considers mosquitoes and other environmental concerns that make it difficult to use ONLY natural ventilation but please try as much as you can to use natural ventilation as often as possible.
• Have you considered “Green” energy? I know the installation costs are high but the lifecycle costs my justify the initial investment…
• Is your car fuel efficient? Do you maintain the car frequently? Are your tires inflated to the right pressure?

Someone told us that an analysis of the bills paid to the DISCOs shows that residential customers consume more electricity (via wastage) than commercial consumers in Nigeria. It’s time for us to start looking at Energy Efficiency SERIOUSLY…145 Naira per litre is not a joking matter. No o, not in this economy. Please review your habits and patterns and lest improve our energy efficiency as a nation…

Welcome to my world!

Something to get rid of Tummy Fat

I got this last year from one of my numerous WhatsApp groups. Yesterday, some men were talking about losing their tummy fat. I checked everywhere for this and I finally found it when I revived a group that had hibernated. I’ll just save it here. I hope someone finds it useful…

 

**CUT up 2 whole (moderate sized) fresh ginger roots and 3 fresh lemons (all with skin on), boil for 10 minutes (4 on high heat, 6 on low heat or u may put. 1 liter of water on the fire to boil, then pour your cut ingredients into it , reduce the heat and allow to simmer for 5-7mins only). Do this in the evening. Leave overnight in the pot. Strain (pour through a sieve into a jug or bottle) in the morning to fill 4 glasses or 1 liter (2 sachets of pure water will do)... drink all through the day. Do this every day for a month.

Note: This gets rid of tummy fat, nothing to do with your stomach muscles....

*Pregnant women and nursing moms are exempted from this therapy.

*This drink can be refrigerated and is in fact, best served cold, but you are advised to drink it up within 24hrs (Ur 1ltre daily fresh supply) to obtain a faster result.

* DON'T SUBTITUTE LEMON WITH LIME PLS. It’s a big NO.

*For the purpose of this therapy, you may not re-boil used ingredients for your next drink pls. Cut up fresh ingredients daily.

*You are not required to peel your ingredients. And u may cut them in decent sizes like 6pieces each. The more you cut, the more nutrients you'll extract.

*Ginger root does not imply the roots of the ginger plant, It is the ginger itself. Just your common fresh ginger.

*Bitter lemons beget a bitter drink. You may add pure natural honey for taste.

This Life of Beans

This life of beans...
First, a bike man was calling me "Fine girl" in the traffic jam...I'll jejely use my beans to make moin-moin and take it like that...

Then my young eyes beheld someone's comment on a sex/no fasting post that started with "My pastor said..."; I wanted to scream. It's great to listen to the guidance and counsel of our pastors WHEN THEY ARE IN LINE WITH WHAT THE MOST HIGH IS SAYING. In this particular case, what "my pastor said" is not consistent with what the Word says. Did I speak up? No...Why? Because I am watching my data usage...Plus my battery life...Dear believer, "my pastor says" will not take you far this year. Take personal Bible Study seriously this year and stop overloading your pastor with your responsibilities joor.
Anyway, I got home and found this party pack from one of Little Madam's classmates. In this 301 Naira/dollar economy? Chai! Thank God our birthday always falls during the holidays (No one should #Change the school calendar on me o; let's stick with the #TransformationAgenda concerning the school calendar please. Thanks). I like the pack, though...I think I'll enter it for the photo contest, though. What do you think?

Pretty Party Pack

I was talking with a neighbour about power supply in our area. All I know is that I'm praying for a mighty deliverance in Ikeja Distribution Company. I pray that the same spirit that made them remember us yesternight/this morning shall not depart from them. Everybody join me in prayers...Thanks...

Why are we suddenly silent again about #LassaFever? Is it no longer an issue?

This life of beans...I shall make moin-moin with the beans...

Welcome to my world...

PS: I woke up this morning and discovered that I've been added to yet another "Secret" Facebook group. I DETEST "Secret" groups that 1) are taking more resources from me than are adding to me, (2) are not making me a better person and believer...I feel another "Adventures of Kneekey2 in Facebook groups" story coming up...I'll wait for my mandatory 7 days before I decide to stay or leave. I suspect I'll leave but let's see how it goes...

Picture Gallery - Uncategorized

Good day friends. So, I'm still giving away pictures...

In this is post, I'll be sharing pictures without specific categories.

Picture 1 - Silverbird Man of the Year Awards
Please don't ask me why I took the picture; I really don't know why. That was the last public outing I saw Pa Gamaliel Onosode before he died.

Picture 1 - Silverbird Man of the Year Awards

Picture 2 - Tecno T340
I owned a Tecno T340 for a while before I gave it away. But that's not why I took the picture. I took the picture so I'll never forget one dude like that who decided to type one word per comment on a friend's Facebook post. When concerned netizens raised eyebrows, he explained to us that his Techno T340 did not allow him post more than one word per comment and apparently, if he didn't tell his ridiculous story at that time, t, the earth would spin out of its orbit. Meanwhile, his story had as many holes as the lace that many society women use to "oppress" themselves. My friend eventually blocked him for world peace...I was too traumatised with that experience to try to use Facebook on that device so I can neither confirm nor deny his claims.

Picture 2 - Tecno T340

Picture 3 - My Dream Living Room
Then there's the picture with my DREAM living room. By God's grace, I will have a living room like this soon...

Picture 3 - My Dream Living Room

Welcome to my world...

Picture Gallery – Memes and Funny Pictures

I’ll continue with the pictures I’m giving away to save my Storage space.

In this post, I’ll share some memes and funny pictures that I have saved so far that I now need to give to you. Promise not to laugh too hard, okay? I’ll probably need to make more posts in this category as I consider myself a funny professor and most of my contacts are hilarious anyway. Lol.

Picture Gallery (1) - From Colleagues

Hello everyone.
I've been receiving warnings from my devices the storage spaces are running low. I know I have the option of buying Memory Cards with higher storage capacities. I'll probably still do that if my cheaper alternatives don't work out.

So, here's option 1: Give all my pictures away. Yeah. I'll be posting pictures that I've taken and are just occupying space on my device. I've filed them per category. Category 1 has pictures of items that have a colleague related story...

Picture 1 - Colleague spells my name with my peanuts

 Picture 1- One of my team mates decided to spell my name with my peanuts. What do you think? Do you like it? I think it's thoughtful sha, lol.

Picture 2 - Gift from colleague

Picture 2 - Colleague travelled and came back with these for me.
My first thoughts were "Abi I have body odour?" I don't think so, though. (If you think so, please speak up now or forever remain silent abeg). So, do you think it's a proper gift? I gave them to someone that needed them (no, I don't think they have body odour o. Ehn ehn).

Picture 3 - Chewing Gum Packet

Picture 3 - Chewing Gum Packet
Another colleague usually brings this back when he travels. I like the chewing gum but I like the pack better. I mean, imagine learning Networking 101 just by buying chewing gum...

Picture 4 - Chiclosos

Picture 4 - Chiclosos
This candy will make you forget every diet resolution you made...I keep asking the "suppliers" when next they're travelling...just because of this candy...Yeah, that's how much I love 'em...Hmmm...Yummy.

That's all for this category. Thanks for reading and helping me free my devices' storage space.

Welcome to my world

Tales From The Road - The Fuel Pump Price Reduction Edition

Hello friends. Happy New Year.

I guess it's no longer news that the Federal Government has magnaminously given us the New Year gift of the reduction of fuel prices by an unprecedented amount of 50 kobo - 1 Naira (depending on whether you're buying from a NNPC station or from independent marketers). The subsidy removal that led us to #OccupyNigeria has finally happened and everyone is busy occupying the front row of their sitting rooms, lol. Seriously, I guess the best time to do away with subsidy payment is now that global oil prices are really low. I still need some explanation, though, on what happens to the ~ 1.4 Naira/litre difference between the Expected Open Market Price (EOMP) and the retail price that is purportedly remitted to the Petroleum Support Fund (PSF) as "negative subsidy". How transparent is this fund? How are we sure that it won't be looted?

Also, I need someone to please explain how the FG can remove subsidy and still regulate pump prices. I'll have thought that deregulation would be the next step after subsidy removal. This price-fixing stifles competition and the end user gets the short end of the stick na. Abi?

Well, let me now enter my gist. As I was heading to church, the first bus I entered was trying to charge me twice the normal fare. It didn't even occur to me to ask why. I sharply alighted from the bus and went to the next bus that charged the correct fare.

As I was heading home, the "conductor" of the first bus decided to fight a passenger that didn't pay the complete fare while holding ALL the money he had in his hands. Thankfully, that passenger was not a criminal. When he returned to the bus, the rest of us jokingly pointed out to him that he was penny wise and pound foolish, lol.

The driver of the second bus I entered told me the trip would cost 10 Naira more than the regular fare. I asked the driver why considering the fact that pump prices had been reduced. He claimed that it was hard getting fuel from the filling stations. Someone quickly told him that's a lie (how true is that?). One of the passengers then said "It's just 10 Naira difference na". I quickly retorted that that's how we encourage the tyranny of the bus drivers...I insisted I was going to pay what I considered a fair price...

As the bus moved, the lady that had spoken earlier greeted me. She turned out to be a friend I made while I was in secondary (high) school. No, I wasn't sorry I spoke up...It's not like she PSID my fare sef...

One bros in the bus was just blowing "fone". He was telling the driver not to run the traffic light...Thankfully, the driver listened to him that time.

As I alighted from the bus, I gave the driver what I believed was the fair price. He claimed he had asked me to come down if I couldn't pay his price. It was a bare-faced lie. I thought of insisting on my own way but I realised it was getting dark quickly. Rather than being penny wise, pound foolish, I decided to add the 10 Naira and get away from there as quickly as possible.

I'm just wondering why transport fares keep increasing whenever there is a change (positive or negative) in pump prices. Who will save us from the tyranny of the bus drivers that determine transport fares without following any particular logic? I think the transportation sector needs price-fixing more than the petroleum sector. Abi?

Welcome to my world...

Dear Successful Woman

Good morning friends.
How are you doing? I trust that all is well.
Tales from the road is loading...

Bus Conductor: All of you just dey bring five five hundred. I no get change o

Kneekey2: Conductor, here's one thousand so you won't have only five five hundreds...

Smh @ Kneekey2.

Anyway, I'm on my regular Facebook waka and I saw a post about America's super couple's alleged marital problems and impending split. First of all, why is it domestic staff that are usually the 'source'?
As usual, the hilarious part is in the 'Comment' section. Someone has advertised whatever it is they're selling. Another one has posted a vacancy...smh!
Some are there lamenting how ugly the husband is (Eda omo araye). Then there's the comment that caused this post. According to the Dibia that has received revelation from the spirits, the reason why the supercouple are having (unconfirmed) marital problems is because the wife is as rich as the husband...People, the oracle has spoken...

PS: Success and likeability is positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. So, dear successful woman, don't expect too many fans. Just make do with air conditioners and natural ventilation...

Welcome to my world...

Tales From The Road - Bank Runs

Long time friends...

I lost my ATM over the weekend so I decided to just block the card and link the account to the second ATM card I have from the same bank. I also had another transaction to do in the bank. I thought I'll just breeze in and out of the bank...Err, WRONG! I spent about one and a half hours on this matter...

I got to the 'bank' (which I noticed for the first time TODAY is actually a Quick Service Point, QSP) and met a queue. I gritted my teeth, quickly asked for relevant forms and joined the queue. I filled the forms while waiting. I noticed that one dude was trying to do some 'kurukere' and jump the queue. I quickly put on my 'War against Indiscipline' look and warned him to join the queue (that move ALWAYS backfires but do you think Kneekey2 listened to the inner voice of reason that told me to chill out? You guessed right...No, she didn't...). As I was waiting for my turn, I realised that my colleague was also in the bank. He drove so I asked him to please wait for me. So, I was gingered to finish quickly.

The bros aiming to jump the queue told me his transaction was a quick one; I told him mine was shorter. I eventually got attended to before him. As I was waiting for my transactions to be concluded, I heard someone call me by my maiden name. Lo and behold, I saw my old school mate whom I hadn't seen in 11 years. As we 'caught up' across the hall, she reminded me that it's been 11 years and I realised that kneekey2 is now an 'Agba', lol.

The customer care lady told me she had blocked my lost card but that I needed to get to another branch (the main bank in the area) to link my account. In 2015? I was just weak and I decided to leave without making a scene as my colleague was waiting for me. I quickly got my old school friend's number.

I got to the car park and began to search for my colleague..."I yahoo yahoo, no one, no one; I gmailed gmailed, no one, no one, I facebooked, facebooked, no one, no one; there was no one like him", lol. The bros trying to jump the queue came out and was laughing at me. He even offered me a ride...See why I need to stop all these my WAI moves...it didn't worth it, lol.

Since I couldn't find my colleague, I decided to get to the main branch. The description I was given seemed straightforward enough...Err, WRONG AGAIN...I joined a bus and asked for the landmark I was given at the QSP when the bus conductor didn't seem to know about a second branch of the bank (that should have been my cue but did kneekey2 take the cue? You guessed right again).

The kind man in the bus that knew where the main branch was showed me where to alight. He pointed to the landmark and told me that the branch was OPPOSITE the landmark. To be fair to him, he said something about taking a bike but I wondered why I needed a bike when the bank was OPPOSITE the landmark. So, kneekey2 decided to take a quick stroll. And that's how I kept going...and going...and going. I got to a point and I had to ask where the branch was. Plain and unadulterated wickedness fa. The branch was located too far from the landmark to be described as being OPPOSITE the landmark. After travelling about a quarter of the Israelite journey (okay 1/20 is truer, lol), I FINALLY found the branch. I wonder why I had to go to such an obscure location just to link my account to an existing ATM card...Nigerian banks be insensitive to their customers since nineteen kpidirim...

Finally, I got to this branch and met a queue...Ha! Again? So I went to one of the customer care reps that was kinda sitting apart and asked if she could attend to me as I had come from far, like the wise men, just to link my account. Thankfully, the lady asked me to wait for her to finish attending to the person she was talking to when I got in. It turned out that she was the only one that could attend to me in the entire branch. Sigh. She looked familiar. We traced our entire backgrounds and we still couldn't establish why she looked familiar...Then she gave me a form that I just filled at the QSP and I lamented that I filled a similar form earlier. She asked why they didn't deal with my request at the QSP. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, lol. While waiting for the nice lady to complete my transaction, one of the other customers claimed that he would share a testimony as he came to XX bank and for the first time EVER, he didn't have to queue. Hahahaha.

As I headed back, I could see the expressway but there was this wire mesh between where I was and the expressway. I asked one of the guys around if there was an opening that I could go through to get to the expressway. He told me there was but I couldn't bend through it. I told him I could bend...So, he gave me directions. When I got to the 'opening', I saw his point. The 'opening' was at the bottom of the mesh. I had to ask the guy that came through how Herod it. He said I essentially had to slide through the opening. Considering how things had gone so far, I knew attempting to glide through would be disastrous for me. So, I advised myself and used the 'long-cut', lol.

That's how I joined a bus going to the bus stop I'm supposed to be familiar with. The route the driver used is one I'm not familiar with. I think the bus was going at 1 km/hr, lol. The conductor kept talking about a 'ram bacteria' bus stop. I was wondering what was going on in the mind of whoever named the bus stop...Finally, one of the passengers said he wanted to alight at 'raw material' bus stop...Raw material, ram bacteria...Same difference...Who names these bus stops? Smh!

Finally, after only one and a half hours, I concluded my 'walk in the park' bank runs.

Welcome to my world....

Human Papilloma Virus

I hope you are in excellent health today.

Today, let us talk about Human Papilloma Virus or HPV for short.

HPV is the name for a group of viruses that affect the skin and mucous or moist membranes in your body like the cervix, anus, mouth or throat. It is sexually transmitted and it is different from Herpes group of viruses which cause similar infections in people infected.

HPV is common and highly contagious. There are several types of the HPV (about 100 subtypes) and about half of these subtypes can affect the genital area.

HPV can cause genital warts and malignant changes (abnormal tissue growth) in the cells of the cervix which could lead to cervical cancer.

Infections caused by HPV are seen mostly in sexually active females (most especially females of child bearing age). If one tests positive, it is advised that the partner is also tested. It is also advised that you discuss with your doctor about testing options and the vaccines available before taking one.

The tests usually carried out are semi-invasive i.e an instrument will be used to collect some samples of your cervix for test. Your doctor will guide you on what todo.

Do take care of yourself, sister.

Until  next update, keep being healthy and God Bless you.

 

Your Friendly Health Worker.

Common Vaginal Infections

It’s your Friendly Health Worker here.
So, we will have a general talk about common Vaginal Infections. These infections may be caused by Hormonal Imbalances, Antibiotic use, Sexual Intercourse, Pregnancy and Breastfeeding.
Note carefully, these factors generally predispose one to Vaginal Infections but some women are more prone to Vaginal Infections than others for no known documented reasons. You should always see your doctor whenever there are signs and symptoms you may have that you are not comfortable with.
These infections include;
Yeast Infections- Caused by Candida species. I think this is the commonest given our penchant for antibiotic abuse. It causes vaginal/vulval itching, redness and thick, creamy discharges. 
Trichomonitis or “Trich’- Caused by the parasite Trichomonas vaginalis and is sexually transmitted. Causes burning, irritation, redness, and swelling of the vulva, with a yellow-gray or greenish vaginal discharge, possibly with a fishy odor. Some women also experience pain during urination.


Bacterial Vaginosis- Caused by the Lactobacilli that are naturally resident in the vagina (Gardnerella species are usually implicated in this case). They only cause infections when there is a change in the pH balance of the vagina causing an overgrowth of the bacteria species.
Chlamydia Vaginitis- Caused by the organism Chlamydia trachomatis. This is sexually transmitted
Non infectious Vaginosis- Caused by sensitivity to irritants like perfumed soaps, douches etc. Treatment is simple. Stop using those products and the skin irritation will go away.
Viral Vaginosis- Caused by viruses like Herpes Simplex group of viruses.
Like I have said repeatedly, when you see a discharge you are not comfortable with, see your doctor for proper diagnosis and appropriate treatment. Never self medicate and never take someone else’s prescription. 
I’ll be back with more on our health, sis. Till then, keep being healthy and God bless you.

Your Friendly Health Worker

Sponsors are VERY welcome.

THE FRIENDLY HEALTH WORKER - DEBUT

Yippee! I have my first official guest writer. She's a health worker and will for now be known only as our Friendly Health Worker. Sponsors are VERY WELCOME for this segment.

It’s your Friendly Health Worker here.
You see, I decided to start writing you these little friendly notes because I have noticed you may have been doing certain things wrong without knowing; by wrong, I mean, you have been committing the sins of omission and commission with regards to your health and have put your health at risk one way or the other. Now, like someone who cares for you, I have taken it upon myself to drop some friendly nuggets so that you can take better care of yourself.

Why is it my business? I care. Simple. Our focus this millennium is Preventative Medicine and the first step is EDUCATION. So, from now, rest assured I’ll be stopping by every week to open your eyes and mind to certain things.
In this note, we will talk about myths related to PERSONAL HYGIENE and how it affects your health. Personal Hygiene can be related to those everyday practices that we may carry out in order to reduce/halt the spread of infections. These practices range from hand washing to clothes washing; from mouth washing to feminine washing. Never mind, I promise to be brief.
You know how if you don’t wash your clothes, they smell? That is how our mouths and bodies are. I will not bore you with details of how to wash your mouth and bodies but I will dispel some myths you may have heard while growing up.
You do not need a hard brush to have clean teeth. Hard brushes erode the visible part of the teeth called ENAMEL and over time can lead to tooth sensitivity which can be very uncomfortable to live with. Having a clean mouth and fresh breath is a combination of the right use of products and good brushing techniques. And of course, scheduled Dental visits.
You see that liquid in that bottle in your bathroom? Yes, that FemWash you use to clean your vagina every morning to get rid of ‘smells’? Ditch it!! Now! Throw it in the trash!!! You see, the body has been fearfully and wonderfully made. There are ‘friendly’ microbes that reside on the skin and in the vaginal area whose jobs are to create a balance of pH in those areas. Once that balance is created, you notice that you have little or no reasons to have discharges or ugly smells coming from your vagina. Also, there are discharges that are perfectly normal. See your gynaecologist if you have any discharge or smell that bothers you but never douche with a feminine wash!!! It will do you more harm than good. Instead, a non perfumed, gentle soap will do or better still, wash with good old warm water alone. Surprised? You will thank me later.
That towel you can’t seem to get rid of? Yes, that one that has changed colour from blue to white? Ditch it!!! Need I tell you why? LOL
Change your toothbrush every three months or as soon as they start fraying at the edges. This prevents teeth and gum injuries.
Don’t self medicate!!!! It is very dangerous. We will talk about this in another post.
If your vagina is itchy, it is not ‘toilet infection’. In fact, there is nothing like toilet infection. See a qualified doctor for check up so that the cause of the itch can be traced and treated appropriately. It could be a change in diet or lifestyle or hormonal changes causing it but never, ever take any symptom for granted. And never self medicate!!!
Do you know your undies ought to also be change periodically? Yes. Some ‘yamayama’ germs may decide to live, increase and multiply on that your special red pant. Please, ditch it after 3 months or once the colour starts fading. 
Most importantly, find a qualified Obsterician/Gynaecologist and befriend. Also, make sure to keep his/her appointments at least twice in a year. It may be the difference between life and death for you, you may never know.
A WORD OF KNOWLEDGE
Have you heard of Cervarix? It is a vaccine against Human Papilloma Virus, a major predisposing factor in Cervical Cancer. Book an appointment with a gynae today and ask about this wonderful vaccine. It may save your life!!!
Until next tip, sister, keep being healthy and God bless you.

Your Friendly Health Worker.

THIS LIFE OF BEANS

This life sha. It is well.

That’s how I was going on my own jeje and one Aunty decided to make me her by-force confidant. Me that I’m disciplining myself not to be talking upandan.

In the space of 2 days of ‘friendship’, Aunty was already telling me the kind of phone she uses. I met her in a group and she started telling me how she felt unwelcome after 2 days. Sigh!

I hail the men that have to deal with women who can never seem to stop chatting. Like it’s a crime to be quiet or something. I told the lady in this gist that in the group she was talking about, we can go for 1 week without chatting, then have 350 messages in 1 hour, when required.

I met another lady online and without asking, she started telling me her family history…And I am not a doctor o or a therapist. I know I’m supposed to be playing but this one is a serious matter. There is a time to keep silent. You shouldn’t meet someone in one day and be telling them your life history IF they are not doctors that need to know your medical history. Talkie talkie can fit to cause wahala ooo.

Welcome to my world.

Tales From The Road - The Destiny Edition

Good morning my people. I have come again as I usually come.

 

I am on the road again, 3rd Mainland to be precise. The bus I'm riding in is overheating and the driver has FINALLY found someone to borrow him water. I had advised the driver to fetch water from the body of water around it. And I have a meeting to attend by 9am. All these workers of iniquity that want to use their reggae to spoil my blues, God pass you ooo.

 

One dude is trying to get a bike from Third Mainland Bridge to Lekki. It is well! God will help us...And I really woke up early today ooo.

 

Thankfully, the bus has started moving. Na prayer and fasting I dey take move am ooo.

 

The ring tone of this mummy sitting beside me that looks like a conc SU is Korede Bello's "God win". Shebi some people are saying that it is not a spiritual song. Issorait.

 

A mum and her kid are singing The Barney song and other nursery rhymes. Way to go, mom. Reminds me of the part of the song that Little Madam loves from her Cedarmont Kids CD - "The Mummies in the Bus go 'shh shh shh'". My best part of the song is "The babies bus go 'ween ween ween'". That's how we both send ourselves sublimal messages jere...

 

The driver of our bus was trying to emotionally blackmail the driver he was begging to allow him join the proper lane with "Abiyamo sha ni yin" (You are a parent). Please don't ask me what being an "Abiyamo" has to do with giving him the space o. The dude beside me asked our driver if he also isn't an "Abiyamo". According to him, an "Abiyamo" will not drive the nonsense that our driver has been driving. The Bros eye dey red, mehn. Lol.

 

This 'shortcut' the driver came through is longer than the 'longcut'...There's even water on the road. If to say fasting and prayer dey finish, na this journey I for exhaust my yearly allocation...God will help us.

 

We FINALLY broke through and I made it JUST in time for my meeting. It's definitely a destiny transforming story...Welcome to my world...

Destiny Matters

So, a pastor tells his members to come without make-up, hair extensions, false lashes, acrylic nails, fake noses etc; the way God made them. 
One woman is tisharing us bad thing...she's asking if the pastor REALLY means that the members should come THE WAY GOD MADE THEM...As in with their birthday suits. Erm...
I wonder what pastor will do when one "efiwe" that can sabi to do over-syllabus follows the instructions to the letter...I'll definitely be following up on that story. Maybe that's what will help me get my own house in Banana Island. 
Tales From The Road is loading, as I'm still on the road. Whatever causes the evul traffic jam on 3rd Mainland Bridge is on duty today while Governor Ambode lectures us on depression. No vex, Governor, bhet this traffic jam MAY be one of the unidentified causes of depression in Lagos. I searched Google for how destinies are drained in Lagos; the picture below was the #1 image. (Try it and see if na lie I lie). Governor Ambode, please look into this matter; souls are perishing fa. 

It's another great day to be alive. Welcome to my world. 

KNEEKEY2 CRIES OUT

I found this on a post I put up last year. I hope it reaches a heart. Please send a message to the page and let's help you find your way back home...

Actually, my focus is on those that have some form of influence with these men (their mothers, sisters, cousins, friends, pastors etc). My aggravation is when these influencers begin to sing the ‘99% of (African) men cheat’ song so that they won’t have to tell the man the home truth. They have no qualms insinuating that the woman must have done something to cause the man to cheat.

I was in a public place with perhaps more men than women. A woman ‘preacher’ decided to ‘preach’ to everyone with a megaphone…She kept harping on how women should be godly, virtuous bla bla bla (I have no qualms with that). Then she got to marriage matters. She kept telling women to be virtuous wives etc… She finally landed on women married to adulterous men…She kept telling the women what they were doing ‘wrong’. I wonder what possessed her to ask herself why she was not addressing the men. She then said ‘Let’s leave the men to God’…WHAT??????????? We can take the women to the cleaners but we’ll leave the men to God? I felt like grabbing her megaphone to help God tell the men His mind. Thank God that I am a believer, lol. Then she started one unholy gist about how God ‘punished’ one adulterous man who died from HIV but his wife who continued to sleep with her confirmed adulterous husband was miraculously saved…I am so glad that I am a believer…I don’t know what I could have done if I wasn’t a believer, lol.

I came across 2 posts yesterday of women dealing with adultery (they are the ones I talked about earlier). The ‘counsel’ I read from the women made me want to cry ‘Come, Lord Jesus, come. If it’s too early for that, please send angels to knock some sense into Your children’. It’s like I missed the memo where God said that adultery is no longer a sin.

Then, all these ‘counsels’ of ‘If you don’t give it (whatever ‘it’ is) to him, another woman will give it to him outside….' Is adultery no longer a sin? Will we continue to look while the enemy finishes our testimony with this evil of adultery?

Scriptures to ponder on…

Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, of Ahab the son of Kolaiah, and of Zedekiah the son of Maaseiah, which prophesy a lie unto you in my name; Behold, I will deliver them into the hand of Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon; and he shall slay them before your eyes; and of them shall be taken up a curse by all the captivity of Judah which are in Babylon, saying, The Lord make thee like Zedekiah and like Ahab, whom the king of Babylon roasted in the fire; because they have committed villainy in Israel, and HAVE COMMITTED ADULTERY WITH THEIR NEIGHBORS’ WIVES, and have spoken lying words in my name, which I have not commanded them; even I know, and am a witness, saith the Lord. (Jeremiah 29:21-23)

Hear the word of the Lord, ye children of Israel: for the Lord hath a controversy with the inhabitants of the land, because there is no truth, nor mercy, nor knowledge of God in the land. By swearing, and lying, and killing, and stealing, AND COMMITTING ADULTERY, they break out, and blood toucheth blood. Therefore shall the land mourn, and every one that dwelleth therein shall languish, with the beasts of the field, and with the fowls of heaven; yea, the fishes of the sea also shall be taken away (Hosea 4:1-3)

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these, ADULTERY, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness (Galatians 5:19)

ABOUT "MONITORING SPIRITS"

I came across a post today that took me down memory lane. It reminded me of the time when I had my personal monitoring spirit in human flesh. We're good now so this is both for your reading pleasure and a guide on "HOW NOT TO BE PESTERED BY A MONITORING SPIRIT"

 

My monitoring spirit was on WhatsApp. She'll expect me to leave life as I know it to attend to her WhatsApp chats; she'll ask me why she can see me "Online" yet I'm not responding to her chats. I was nice for a while, explaining and all. When I realised that I was usually guilty until proven innocent with her, I let her know that monitoring doesn't work for me.

She tried to turn it around, telling me that she was just looking out for me bla bla bla. She tried the emotional blackmail aka silent treatment and that didn't work. We shared a few strong words. According to her, if you care about something/someone, you'll give them attention. Yeah ma'am but if you love something/someone, you'll give them some breathing space too. Finally, we're getting along better now. I try to respond to her chats as soon as I can get to it and I think she's learning to understand that I'll get to her chats when I can...

 

Thankfully, my inbox is saner now that I publish any inbox nonsense on my Facebook page. If the "spirit" leads, I'll start publishing names too, lol...I'm sick and tired of Inbox Monitoring Spirits. They're following you upandan. Okay, I've monitored a few people online but believe me, I've NEVER asked them why they're ignoring me. I just assume that they've got higher priorities than what I'm chatting about and when they can, they'll get to my matter. If you finally get to my matter and I've found another way to solve it, abeg let it pass. Don't be pestering me with trying to solve a problem I no longer have...That ship has sailed, tenkiu...This one is even the topic of an entire post that I may have written about earlier...Don't expect to put me on hold and still meet me where you left me...AMA is too dynamic for that...Wait for the next time I'll need your help (most likely NEVER) and prove that you care THEN!

Anyway, I'm writing to you from 3rd Mainland Bridge today where whatever it is that causes these evul Monday traffic jams has resumed duty and e tie wrapper come wear suit...Plenty #‎TalesFromTheRoad gist dey but no time to write more for now. I'll see if I can share later.

In other news, what do you think about my "artwork" in the picture? Should I quit my day job and become a Graphic Designer? Or should I just face my day job jeje?

 

Welcome to my world!

SHOW ME THE MONEY

Chai! So, Linda Ikeji bought a mansion for over 500 million Naira in Banana Island (See picture). And we're both using Blogger. She has only 1 blog, I have 4. And I've not made up to 1 million Naira from these blogs. Why is life like this na? I even started my first blog in 2008 while I learnt that she started hers in 2006. Only 2 years difference.

The House

Aunty Linda, if your money is coming from blogging, plix show me the way. Let's collaborate and make tutorials on how to make money from blogging. If the money is coming from elsewhere, I hope it's legit ooo. Because PMB eye dey red ooo...Lest it's you that he'll use as an example...

 

Ehen, then there's the concern that buying such a house may scare a potential suitor or attract gold diggers. As far as I'm concerned, a suitor that can be scared by such "displays of opulence" get for him body and all a gold-digger needs is to know that you CAN one day have gold worth digging...

Then, some think she won't be a submissive wife...I'm not a man but if I were, I'll prefer a rich, unsubmissive wife to a poor unsubmissive wife. Na poor unsubmissive wife brutal pass.

 

For as long as the source of her income is legit, I have only one thing to say to Linda Ikeji on this matter - SHOW ME THE MONEY.