The Ant

Quite powerful

Brenda was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens. "Great", she thought. "Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry."
She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn't there.
She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she may find her contact lens.

When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the bible verse "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth."

She thought, "Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me."

Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, "Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?"

Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it!

The story doesn't end there. Brenda's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a cartoon of an ant lugging that contact lens with the caption, "Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You."

I think it would do all of us some good to say, "God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if You want me to carry it, I will."

God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Yes, I do love GOD. He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him....I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13)

Keyboards are dirtier than toilets

Think twice before eating those dropped crumbs off your computer keyboard- you might as well be eating off a toilet seat.
A study by British consumer magazine Which? Computing asked a microbiologist to examine 33 keyboards in a typical London office, a toilet seat and a toilet handle for bugs generally found in unhygienic places. Four keyboards were judged potential health hazards and the microbiologist recommended the removal of one keyboards as it had 150 times the pass limit of bacteria- five times filthier than the swabbed toilet seat
"Most people don't give much thought to the grime that builds up on their PC (keyboard), but if you don't clean your computer (keyboard), you might as well eat your lunch off the toilet" said Sarah Kidner, editor of Which?Computing in a statement. The study found that eating lunch at desks is the main cause of a bug-infested keyboard (ouch, that's close to home). Dropped crumbs and food encourages growth of millions of bacteria. Poor personal hygiene, such as not washing hands after going to the toilet, may also add to the dirtiness of keyboards.
But despite the health hazards of a dirty keyboard, a survey of 4,000 people by the magazine found one in 10 persons- or 11 per cent- never cleaned their keyboard while another two in 10 never cleaned their mouse (how did the mouse come into the picture?). To clear out bugs, the magazine recommends users unplug keyboards, turn them upside down and shake them (hey, Which, what do we do with the mice?)



Gulf News, Sat, May 3, 2008
www.gulfnews.com

(Excuse me, I need to clean my keyboard. I can't believe I've been working in a public toilet of my own making for so long. Now I have to figure out what to do with the mouse).

Please save yourself and other who work in the same area as you do the 'luxury' of eating in a public toilet. Clean your keyboard! and your mouse, if you can figure out a way to do the cleaning.

Parking slot

A man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going abroad on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the man hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked
on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then
drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?


The man replies:


"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41
and expect it to be there when I return?"

What “The Office” Teaches Us About Work

The popular TV show "The Office" hilariously satirizes the nine-to-five work world. The sitcom features a collection of cube-dwelling characters who are occasionally offensive, petty, obnoxious, inept, annoying, self-absorbed or unproductive -- or all of the above.

The show has clearly resonated with the public and pop-culture enthusiasts, perhaps because people sometimes catch a glimpse of "The Office" in their own workplaces. But "The Office" offers viewers more than just laughs. The show is a cautionary tale serving up weekly reminders of how not to behave in a professional setting. With the corporate misfits of "The Office" in mind, use the following tips to avoid becoming the person your colleagues dread to see walking toward them.

Joke with care
When it comes to having a good sense of humor in the workplace, focus on developing the "good sense" part. While most professionals can easily identify jokes that fall into the "absolutely acceptable" and "clearly inappropriate" categories, they have trouble navigating the gray area in between. Many employees have found themselves in hot water for merely inching a toe over this fine line. So, if you're unsure if you should tell an off-color joke or forward a risqué e-mail, remember that it's better to be safe than sorry. No matter how well you think you know a colleague, refrain from joking about age, race, religion, gender or other sensitive subjects. Also, steer clear of making sarcastic remarks, which can be easily misconstrued.
That said, levity does have a place in "The Office" environment. Having the
ability to laugh at yourself -- and difficult situations -- goes a long way
toward maintaining perspective, reducing stress and building rapport with
co-workers. But you don't need to be "The Office" comedian to win over
your colleagues. Just be willing to see the lighter side of the workplace.

Forgo fulsome flattery.

There's nothing wrong with trying to impress your boss. After all, your
manager plays a pivotal role in your career advancement. But it's important
to be sincere, and actions speak louder than words. Show your boss that you're loyal to the firm by working hard and making smart decisions, not by playing politics or becoming a tattletale. The most respected and well-liked professionals treat each person in "The Office" with the same level of courtesy.

Avoid the gossip grapevine.

Unfortunately, the ubiquity of workplace whispering can make gossiping an easy pastime to adopt. Skipping the opportunities to share juicy rumors about a pending merger or a colleague's weekend adventure can be hard to resist. But resist them anyway. Talking behind someone's back or passing along highly sensitive or unsubstantiated information as fact will only undermine your credibility. Though it can be beneficial to be aware of what's being said by the water cooler chit-chatters, it's wise to keep the information to yourself.

While funny and farcical, "The Office" does shine a spotlight on the many pitfalls of exercising poor judgment in the workplace. Use what you learn to handle yourself with tact and professionalism. And always remember that people enjoy working with individuals they like. By showing respect to both your boss and your co-workers, you'll build camaraderie -- and a solid reputation.

Excerpt from Robert Half International Inc. www.rhi.com

Silly Quotes

"Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields, Actress
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
"Better make it six, I can’t eat eight.” - Dan Osinski, baseball pitcher, when a waitress asked if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices

According to TY, they live among us. Beware!

Seat belts and Crash Helmets

I had the most illuminating ride to work today. I woke up late (I was late to work by the time I woke up). I had a speed bath, speed dressed and took a commercial vehicle to CMS. All was going according to plan.
Then, I took a bike from CMS to VI (to avoid getting to work after lunch). The interesting bike man decided to get on the BRT lane. After asking him (then screaming at him)to get off the lane like 5 times, he obliged, telling me that all the security operatives were his people and no one could 'catch' him. I succeeded in convincing him after I told him he was acting like an animal. That really got to him and offended him (thank God he is not a violent man). I managed to explain to him that I was not calling him an animal but I was trying to show him what his behaviour was portraying. I told him that civilization (which man boasts of) is the ability to comply with laws that were established for our own good. (I don't know if that applies to cars moving on the BRT lanes as my concern was for safety, as well as complying with the directive)
This afternoon, I took another bike and I observed other people on bikes with their helmets. Some put on the helmet but did not hook the part that ensures that the helmet remains attached to their head no matter what. Others used the industrial helmet (hard hat). That set me thinking about the Nigerian attitude to personal safety (I don't know what obtains in other climes). I'll like to talk a little about the use of the crash helmet and the seat belt.
1. The crash helmet and the seat belts fall under the same category as far as protection is concerned- they are mitigative, i.e. they do not prevent accidents. However, they are to ensure that if the undesired event (e.g. accident) does happen, the consequences are minimised. In the case of the crash helmet, it is to ensure that if one is ever involved in a bike accident, there is little or no damage to the brain. In the case of the seatbelt, it protects you from going through the windscreen (in the case of the front passengers) or becoming a projectile that could hurt other otherwise safe people (in the case of those at the back).
2. None of them is really so inconvenient that we would want to risk the consequence of not using them (potential death)
3. The car was designed with the sealt belt in mind. The seat belt and the crash helmet are part of the design in using the car and the motorcycle safely. Not using them is like opening a transformer box without the appropriate safety equipment, carrying a hot pot from the stove with your bare hands or handling a loaded gun without some protection.
4. The crash helmet is designed to have that latch that ensures that the helmet stays on your head in the event of a fall. If you use the industrial type or you use the actual one without the latch, the helmet will come off your head in the event of a fall and you are left with no protection (just like someone that did not use the protection)
5. My answer to those who say that using the crash helmet can make you disappear is this- sitting on the bike can also make you disappear. You actually have the option of walking to wherever you're going or using a vehicle (where you should use your seat belt). If you are afraid of the crash helmet and do not like the seat belt, you can walk. It is actually healthy.
6. The major difference between man and animals is that man was not designed to react to his environment. He can order his world and use his environment to his advantage. in other words, man can think and carry out his thoughts. You can decide to use the crash helmet and the seat belt and not be one of the statistics that the FRSC has to report.

I read yesterday that in Lagos, the FRSC recodrded 15000 deaths from bike accidents in 20 years. This translates to roughly 2 deaths per day in the past 20 years and these deaths are mostly preventable, if each one of us will use our crash helmets.

Finally, the law requires you to use the seat belt and the crash helmet. Let's get involved in our personal safety and do the right thing.

Eko o ni baje o.

Try Ignorance

Never been to Kenya so can't say it happened in my neighbourhood but is the lesson powerful or what?

There was this case in Kenyatta National Hospital Intensive Care ward
where patients always died in the same bed on Sunday morning at 11am,
regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something
to do with the supernatural no one could solve the mystery.... as to
Why the death at 11.AM

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go
down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the
next Sunday morning few minutes before 11am, all doctors and nurses
nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the
terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer, books and their
Objects to ward off the evil.....Just when the clock struck
11.....



Guess what happened??

...... Mukhobero Wepukhulu, the part-time
Sunday sweeper entered the ward and unplugged the life support system
so that he could use the socket for the vacuum
cleaner.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.