Monday, April 20, 2015

Tales From The Road - Week 4


Good day people. Sorry for the long break in transmission. I hope I stay on track this time but we'll see...

 

School resumes today so I stayed back so I could go with Li'l Madam to school and see the Head Teacher to catch up. As we were heading out, there was talk of how the people in the other street had power supply but we didn't have, did our transformer trip? bla bla bla. All that just reminded me of my mum and the close monitoring she gives PHCN... Seriously, why is the focus on the fact that others have power supply and YOU don't have? Shouldn't you be focusing on YOUR lack of power supply and allow your neighbour enjoy his/her power supply?  I asked if we were sure that we were connected to the same line as the street in question and that power wasn't restored after we left the house. As amazing as it sounds, it turns out that power was restored after we left the house. 

 

As I was heading out of the estate, it appears all the bike men had a meeting and decided not to pick me up. Me, I no know wetin I do them but diaris God sha. As I was trekking in places where I should have been riding, I just decided to greet people on my way. I saw an old woman standing at her gate looking like she was searching for someone. I greeted her and wow, she flashed such a beautiful smile. She greeted me, wished me a beautiful day and much more.

 

I smiled and continued my trek. When I looked back after a few steps, I saw that she had closed the gate and gone back in. Then it occurred to me that maybe all she was looking for was the human touch #LonelyHearts.

 

The bike men still refused to pick me up. Finally, one bike man had mercy on me and picked me up. As we were approaching my drop-off point, the guy pulled some dangerous stunts and I screamed at him (when it was safe to do so). Maybe that's why the bike men have all ganged up against me? Lol. When he dropped me off, I spent a few seconds to apologise for screaming and to advise him to calm down before he kills himself. Whew!

 

I got to the garage and observed people queuing. Even the buses seemed better arranged. I saw one guy with a NURTW vest that had his branch and unit sef. Na ID card and badge remain. E be like say this "Change" sontin no be play ooo. E be like say even PHCN sef dey fear small small. Hehehehe. I even heard that it's "Change" that is helping the Naira behave better. May we all be jubilating about this "Change" in 4 years time, in Jesus' Name.

 

Now I'm in the bus with a lady who is making incessant phone calls. I think her office apartment is burning. Eh yah! I pray the fire is quenched quickly. I think I need to share some Fire Safety tips sef.

 

Now, there is a dude 'not selling' stuff in the bus I'm in. He started with Queen's English, now we've moved to pure "Waffi"...He claims he's creating public awareness. He's giving 4 years warranty for his drug - no typhoid or malaria. Now, he's damaging the esteem of men with erectile dysfunction and telling them they're not men. Smh! E be like say the thing affect some men sha.

 

He is making some sense sha, giving possible reasons for erectile dysfunction.

1. Too much sugar from beer, soft drinks etc

2. Having sexual relations with a woman that is menstruating.  

 

Erm, I wonder what else those that are actually selling stuff actually do.

Now, he's talking about "knacking" and how he lasted for 1 hour. According to him, no matter what a man does for a woman, if "knacking" is not involved, the woman will just be spending his money. Uhm...As usual, it's a 'gbogbonise' that cures malaria, typhoid, erectile dysfunction, pile, vaginal discharge, high BP, waist pain,  etc. It can even be used for abortion...It is well...

 

As I came off the vehicle, one dude asked if I won't buy for "Oga" and another one replied him that "Oga" doesn't need it. One dude had already concluded that I'm a "Holy Mary". I wonder if someone put a stamp on my forehead as it seems like a constant tag; I didn't even open my mouth to say anything. It is well ooo...

 

Anyway, it's the beginning of a new week. Have a blessed and productive day.

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