Caught In The Very Act...And Killed

Good day people.

 

I woke up this (fateful) morning with the intention of going through my normal routine and leaving home as quickly as possible. As I made my way to the kitchen to pack the meal I made last night, I thought I saw a strange sight.

 

I quickly focused the torchlight and lo, it was a very strange sight...two beings locked together as one, oblivious to their surroundings. My first thought was to ignore them and mind my own business, I was running late...

 

I thought of the potential implications of ignoring what I'd seen...Do I want my child exposed to the potential effects of this strangeness? What if there are some spiritual issues that could arise from ignoring them? I quickly concluded that they had to die! I made my way to the kitchen and found the perfect weapon...

 

I went back and still found them in the same position when I returned. I tried to find a position where I could eliminate them both with one blow. Not trusting myself to be able to achieve that, I called for help...

 

After explaining what I saw and what I needed, she dragged herself out of bed. I gave her the weapon and in one deft move, they came tumbling down! Then I asked her "Wetin them dey do?" And she replied "Dem dey make love na" in a matter-of-factly tone.

 

Wait, what did you think I was talking about? I caught 2 cockroaches making love on a wall in my house and I convinced the nanny to help me kill them with the perfect weapon - a broom from the kitchen...

 

I found one lone cockroach a few meters away and I wondered if it was a rejected lover that wished one or both of the cockroaches dead? Anyway, those two should have been more discreet na. I mean, even when they fell, they did not come apart. Weird stuff!

 

Besides, I didn't see any sign of being married. So, who knows if it's the prayer of the cheated spouse against strange men/women that caught up with them? I don't run a brothel, people...

 

My concern now is this - it seems their relatives are after me! I could have sworn I saw the next cockroach giving me an evil eye...Well, I need to get them before they get me! Fumigation coming up next...

 

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