Group 3 agreed to have Bible Study every Sunday. A topic
was posted by 1pm and group members were expected to contribute to the post. I
must have snuck out of Church Service more than once to put up the post. I felt
passionate enough about the Bible Study to do that. It was an unofficial rule
that the Bible Study post was to be commented on by all. With the benefit of
hindsight, I can see how domineering the unofficial rule was. One Sunday, the
Bible Study post went up as usual. We had a couple of comments. A young lady,
who I shall call Lady B, promised to be back to comment.
Someone else put up a post asking for ideas on how to
surprise her husband on his birthday. It was a nice post but the timing was a
bit off. I realise again, with the benefit of hindsight, that if we had picked
the option of getting Admin to approve posts before they appear on the wall, it
would have saved us the headache that ensued.
Of course, a lot of ladies flocked to Post 2 and our
Bible Study post was sitting there like an orphan, lol. Of course, it caused
discomfort among the Admin members.
Some Admin members commented on and were following Post 2
in order to maintain order. They kept hinting that the ladies should try to
attend Bible Study and not totally ignore the post like that. Well, the ladies
were not interested in Bible Study that day. The comments kept pouring into
Post 2 while Post 1 looked on. I stayed away from Post 2 as Post 1 was my
darling that Sunday...
Then Lady B posted a very lewd comment on Post 2. It was
unnecessarily lewd. I actually wasn't following the post because I was sulking
about the abandonment of my darling Post 1, lol. The Admins following Post 2 kept
complaining about the direction of Post 2. I told them that if I step in, I'll
take NO prisoners...After what seemed like a set-up, it fell my lot to restore
order in Post 2. One of the Admins claimed she had network issues and couldn't
address the issue (though the network issues 'miraculously' did not stop her
from whining about Post 2 in the Admin Facebook group chat).
I contacted the poster, explained why I had to delete her
post and asked her to please post the next day. I finally went on the post, let
them know that though I was acting as Admin, I was in 100% agreement and
relished the thought of deleting the post. I then spent time to save what I
considered to be wonderful comments and deleted the post.
I went on to enjoy my day. That day was one of the
numerous Mother's Day we had that year. I found a nasty Facebook message from
Lady B waiting for me the next time I checked.
"Why are u acting like a boss? What is ur f**
problem!! Why must u delete my comments"?
I responded when I was calm enough with
"I deleted the entire post, not just your comments.
And I saved your comments that were relevant to the original question. I can
give them back to you. Please don't address me again using the 'f-word',
otherwise I won't respond.
You can read the Pinned Post to learn more about the
designated group activities. It's late, otherwise, I'll have taken down your
post as well. I plan to do that tomorrow so you can save the comments you
consider useful before I get to the post. You can take it down yourself too.
Thanks."
[She had put up a post asking a Bible Study related
question]
Lady B and I had some previous correspondence - I asked
her to modify one of her comments on a post as it had a curse word. It took a
while to convince her to do so. With the benefit of hindsight, I think I should
have just deleted the comment.
Lady B went on to put up a silly post with f-bombs on the
group wall that night. Apparently, some of the group members saw it before
another Admin deleted the post. And that's how I found myself entangled in a
drama that lasted for 3 or 4 days. I mean it - I didn't do productive work for
those days because of people that I had never met in real life. I was really
pissed off by the way some of the other Admins refused to back me for taking
down Post 2. Those with "network issues" suddenly had great
connections to 'arbitrate' in useless 'reconciliatory' meetings where the other
Admin that tried to address the issue when I went to bed and I were essentially
objects of ridicule and a half-hearted apology was given, followed by 'advice'
from the "offender" generally absolving herself of guilt. I wasn't as
offended about the half-hearted apology as I was with Admin's insistence on
"forgiving and forgetting", which essentially means you're to pretend
like the nasty experience never happened and bend over backwards to prove to
the offender that you have amnesia and cannot remember any of the negative
feelings generated. I was even tasked with helping Lady B "rebuild her
reputation".
I let them know, after 3 days or so that I wasn't
interested in continuing with the waste of time that the 'reconciliatory
meeting' was turning out to be. I stepped down as Half/Quarter Admin and took
my place as a member, primarily to avoid the emotional blackmail of "What
would Jesus do?" (Sometimes, the response to that question in my mind is
"Maybe He'll whip them the same way as He did in the temple?" Lol).
I finally left the group the first time when I woke up
early one morning and was sickened by the comments on one of the posts. As I
was going over that post, I had a strong leading to leave the group. I left and
immediately searched for a group that addressed my actual needs at the time. I
found the group and joined it. I was eventually removed from the group without
as much as a confrontation (thank God). When I asked why I was removed, I
wasn't given a definite answer. I suspect that I was too blunt and direct for
the group and that it was time to move on.
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