I had returned to Group 1 by this time and the drama
there was still the same, if not more. Lady B put up a post in Group 1 and I
liked it (because it made sense). I got a message from her insulting me for
'liking' so I can monitor her post, report to Admin and get the post deleted. I
told her that I didn't need to 'like' her post in order to do what she was
alleging. I told her that I could follow her post without her knowing and I
could report without 'liking'. I think I must have prayed about this particular
interaction with Lady B because by the end of our discussion, she was sharing
her challenges and I was praying with her about them. She also gave me some
valuable feedback on the image I was unknowingly projecting. She talked about me
strutting around like the group (Group 3) was my personal property. I actually
took her seriously this time and had some sober reflection. I asked people
close to me and I realised that what she said was really true - I am smart but
I wasn't humble about it. I am so grateful that Lady B and I had that chat. It
was eye-opening. I had blocked Lady B and I deleted one of the Admins of Group
3. I just recently reconnected with the Admin lady. I think I'm in a good place
with her in my heart now.
Back in Group 1, people would put up silly posts and get
offended when comments were made about the silliness of the posts. They'll
recommend a "waka pass" if you don't have any productive comment and
then turn around to complain when their subsequent posts get no like or
comment. I usually felt drained after going through the group wall every day.
One of the group members put up a post asking Admin to
implement controls to clean up the group wall. I was quick to agree with her
but Admin gave a million and one reasons (excuses) why this could not be done.
In the course of the discussion, the lady mentioned a group that had such
controls in place and it was working wonders. I chatted with her privately and
she added me to the group. I am still a member of THAT group today and I love
the group.
I will like to acknowledge and thank the founder of Group
1. She called me after I put to bed to congratulate us and to ask me to please
return to Group 1 (I had left the group at the time. The drama that led to my
exit will be told sometime in the future, I believe). She talked about working
together to change lives etc. It was convincing and inspiring. I returned to
the group when I could but I didn't see any improvement in the conditions that
made me leave. I left the group AGAIN for reasons I already gave in Part 1.
I picked up friends who I consider to be closer than
sisters in Group 1. I didn't even know that one of them was an Admin in the
group. She practically held my hand and was very instrumental in my journey
back up.
I wish I could say that my impact in Group 1 was all
positive and great but the sad thing is that it wasn't. I KNOW that I
inadvertently hurt a good number of people with the attitude Lady B pointed out
to me. I found a message in my "Other" messages a few months after it
had been sent. The lady was obviously angry about some comment I made but I
didn't even remember what she was talking about. I would just comment and move
on to the next drama, lol. It was fun for me but I was hurting someone in the process.
I apologize to everyone I hurt with my arrogance; please "forgive and
forget", lol. Seriously, I'm sorry I hurt you. I hope that you'll find it
in your heart to forgive me and maybe allow me into your circle in the near
future.
While I was in Group 1, I connected with a wonderful
single mum. Her story started out "one-kain" but today, I'm so
inspired by how she didn't let some poor decisions ruin her glorious future. I
also met a most fascinating young lady. Our first interaction was not pleasant.
She told me a few years later that I was unbending like an iron rod (Am I that
rigid? Ah!). I see her today taking giant strides. Her story inspires me. I
will share more of such stories as I remember them.
When I was an Admin in Group 3, there was concern about
the "silent members". I've found in every group that this category of
members keep Admins awake at night. A lot of the (in)actions of Admin stem from
the effort to reduce the number of "silent members". I decided to
identify the "silent members" and ask them what the deal was. Many of
them said they were just plain busy as opposed to the misconception that they
were disenchanted. A small percentage of them were observing the group to see
if it meets their expectations. I found out later that some are there to pick
up gist from the group and use it as material for gossip or their posts (as I'm
doing now, lol).
Those private chats were priceless. I got to know more
about the members and they became real people to me and not just profile names.
I realised that they actually began to participate more in the group proving
that "people don't care how much you know; they want to know how much you
care". In my opinion, that's how great groups are formed. Unfortunately,
caring that much also increases the likelihood of saying that ONE hurtful
sentence that cuts so deeply, so we need to let the Holy Spirit lead us.
I decided to minimize the time I was spending on Facebook
as I had to adjust to motherhood and focus on crucial relationships,
particularly my fellowship with God. I had to leave most of the groups I
belonged to. I stayed on in the wonderful group that I talked about earlier and
the one I was led to as I left Group 3. I also unfriended some people that I
felt were toxic influences.
I promised a 4 part series but I realise I need one more
post to complete this series. Thanks for your understanding.
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