Lagos on a Monday – Public Transport Stories

Good day people.

I usually have to travel on Mondays using the public transport system and today was not an exception. You want to know why? We can talk about that privately. As I was riding, I decided to start blogging about it. I hope you enjoy my stories. As weird as they sound, they are actually true. I’ll be using the hashtag #LagosOnAMonday

I set out a little later than normal today as I had to confirm that I was really good to go so I was already running late as I went. As I approached the bus stop, I saw my former regular ‘Keke’ (Tricycle) driver. I was going to join him but I found a bike. I hope to blog about the interesting episodes I had with that Baba sometime.

 Anyway, I got to the major bus stop without drama and found that the regular buses I join were not available. So, I had to break my journey. I didn’t even consider boarding a BRT bus because I am utterly disappointed in the flagrant disrespect of time by the BRT operators. I finally boarded the bus that inspired the post. The driver insisted that the fare was 150 Naira. One man joined us and started complaining about how the fare should have been 100 Naira. We finally settled on the 150 Naira. As the journey progressed, we met some passengers that also protested the fare but they eventually left the matter. As we continued the journey, the driver tried to cram 5 people in a row. We protested and won that battle, lol.

As we continued the journey, I gave the ad-hoc “conductor” a 1000 Naira bill for 4 people. I asked him to give me 600 Naira (a 500 Naira bill and a 100 Naira bill) as I give him a 200 Naira bill. The 500 Naira bills and 100 Naira bills are easier to get than the 200 Naira bills. The dude didn’t get it! I still don’t get how he didn’t get it but he just did not! Smh!

Then, the bus started acting up. Some dudes had joined the bus after the bus they were in developed a fault. I began to wonder if those people were the bad luck sef *looking at them one kain*. Anyway, I sent a quick prayer up to God to help us because I didn’t want to be standing on Third Mainland Bridge looking for a bus when I was already one hour late. Thankfully, God heard the prayer and the bus finally behaved. As we got to Obalende, the bus driver went through a more annoying route just to drop off his adhoc “conductor”. Apparently some of the guys that joined us from the other bus were royally pissed off. One of them even prayed for (or is it cursed?) the driver that God will delay his progress the way the driver delayed us. You go fear prayer na. As usual, the driver had stopped off at a filling station to fill his tank AFTER picking up passengers. Any sensible reason why these guys do that? Smh!

As I alighted from that bus and was going to get a bus to my final destination, I caught a bus driver checking himself out in a mirror and touching up his ‘make-up’. I know it seems weird but I saw it with my own eyes, lol.

I boarded a bus and as I brought out my money to pay, one aunty practically snatched the money from my hand to help me pay the fare. I almost said something nasty but I figured out she was just being helpful. I thanked her instead. I’ve got to ask, though, WHY DO LADIES FIX CLAWS AND CALL THEM NAILS? The lady couldn’t even ping well…It is well…

Then I got to my drop-off point and nearly forgot my 50 Naira “change” (It’s not the political one oo, lol). I quickly reminded him and used it when I paid my ‘Keke’ fare to the final destination.

Stay tuned for another #LagosOnAMonday post next week, by God’s grace.

Have a pleasurable day.

Rantings of a Disenfranchised Voter

So, I can't vote in the 2015 Nigerian elections. *almost sad face*. Well, I'll look on the bright side AFTER my rant!

I actually voted in the 2011 elections. Don't ask who I voted for and I won't tell, lol. I have a Permanent Voter's Card but I can't use it. "Why?", you may ask.

I'm glad you did. I have moved from where I registered in 2011. I don't believe that is too hard to foresee. Or is it? I kept shouting and crying about my 'condition' until a concerned party led me to INEC's guidelines on the "Transfer of Wards".

According to the guidelines, I was to write to the State Resident Electoral Commissioner (REC) requesting for the transfer. The letter was to be submitted at least 30 days before the election I wish to participate in. The letter could be submitted in the INEC office around the ward I wish to be transferred to.

I quickly drafted the letter and made the necessary arrangements as I still had enough time (or so I thought). You can imagine how amazed I was to be told that INEC is no longer attending to transfers but that I can check back after the elections. Hmmm. I raised this issue with the person that led me to the guidelines. He said they had raised the issue with INEC and the explanation INEC gave was that INEC expects all matters related to transfers to have been completed 30 days before the elections as they are required to publish the list of registered voters in each polling unit at least 30 days before the elections.

We went on to discuss why the PVC couldn't be configured to work in any polling unit and then have a security feature that limits the number of times it can be used on Election Day. I hope INEC takes these recommendations on board for future elections

Someone suggested that I lodge in a hotel around the polling unit where I am registered so that I can vote. Erm, I'm not passionate enough about any of the parties to incur those additional expenses, though I would have voted for one of them, if it wasn't going to be such an expensive venture. I've resolved to pray and share as much SENSIBLE information as I can concerning the elections. I pray the dates remain unchanged so that all the campaign drama, lies, propaganda and traffic jams can come to an end.

If you have a useful PVC, please vote wisely. Don't engage in violence, stick to the rules. If it is safe to do so, record any evidence of electoral malpractices and share with any of the media outlets you can, including social media.

I pray that as #NigeriaDecides this month, we will allow God lead us to elect leaders that will make themselves available to build a nation where peace, prosperity and justice shall reign.

Misplaced Priorities

I had some business to do in a well-known organization today. At some point, I needed to use the restroom so I asked the lady attending to me for directions. She led me to a door that required some code before it would open. I mean, see 'effizy' just to open toilet door...I was expecting to use a restroom that I would want to dwell in forever and ever. Uhmmm, I wish!

Instead, I entered a restroom with a terribly stained toilet bowl and there was no soap for hand washing #‎MisplacedPriorities

Real life conversation with LB and LG

Real life conversation with a 6 year old boy (LB).

LB: So you have a Blackberry?

Me: Yes, you've been looking at it since na

LB: If it's a Blackberry, it's supposed to be black. If it's white, it's a Whiteberry.

Me: Huh?

 

So, people, I have a Whiteberry. Okay?

*Smh*

 

Real life conversation with a 9 year old girl (LG).

LG: So, are you in school?

Me: I have a daughter. I am working and to answer your question, I'm not in school (Now that I think of it, I'm still in school ooo)

*Not feeling so fly afterall*

LG to LB: So, you can't call her a girl again.

Me: Huh?

*Smh*

 

I led LG to Christ.

A Slap I Will Never Forget

I was forced to remember this slap by a post I saw recently...

It all began that fateful night when I had to borrow my friend's plate after dinner...Actually, it all began the day I lost my plate but I lost too many plates to remember how I lost that particular one, lol.

That night, I had to wait for Junior girls (JSS1-3) to finish eating (I was a Junior girl) and borrow someone's plate to eat my own food. As I just finished eating, it was time for Senior girls to have their own dinner (Most Junior girls had gone for night reading 'prep'). I was rushing for prep when one of the Senior girls asked me to 'borrow' her the plate. Borrowing her the plate meant washing the plate for her, waiting for her to finish eating and then washing the plate afterwards (assuming she was kind enough to give me the plate afterwards). If she chose not to return the plate, I would have to go to my friend to tell her 'stories that touch' about her plate. I was already notorious for losing things so she really went on a limb to lend me that plate, lol.

I am not too sure where the courage came from but I was sure this Senior girl would not get THIS plate from me...We started a battle for the plate. She pulled from one side, I pulled back from another side...Suddenly, I saw 'stars'...I became dizzy and weak suddenly...After about a minute, I realized the tug of war was over and the plate was no longer in my possession. I had to sit for about 5 minutes before it occurred to me that I just received a BLINDING slap...

A small victory for me was that I didn't wait for her to finish eating in order to wash the plate. Instead, I foolishly went to report her to my 'guardian'...I sincerely can't remember if I got the plate back or not...I faintly remember telling my friend 'stories that touch' about her plate...She is such a good-natured person; we are still friends till date...Now I wonder if it would have been wiser to have just waited, collected the plate and washed it...All my 'reporting' didn't get me back the plate and I still missed that 'prep'. My reputation as a 'careless girl' was further confirmed...Uhmmm

Anyway, I felt happy when that same Senior girl finally got herself suspended for some other unruly act...I think the effect of the slap is yet to wear off 20 years plus after...That may be the cause of some of my inexplicable antics...Any typos on this post are directly traceable to that slap...Lol

Christmas, Year 2008

Year 2008, my year of fulfillment. A very interesting year. I'll try to remember the books I read this year- 1. MADE TO STICK- a book about how to make an unforgetable presentation, how to communicate a vision in a manner that inspires the hearers long after u're gone. 2. AND THE SHOFAR BLEW- a novel on challenges of the ministry. 3. THE LAST SIN EATER - a novel that explains the role of Jesus as the Lamb of God that takes away the sins of the world.

Our world

After many months, I took commercial buses from Gbagada to Festac. When I got to Oshodi, I changed buses because I thought the bus conductor was acting up. I met a funny looking woman in the next bus. She kept talking to herself in a low tone. As the journey continued, she asked fellow passengers to help her with 100 Naira and more tfare to CMS. Sh...e kept asking for the same thing even after she paid her tfare. No one paid any attention to her. I eventually gave her 50 Naira after praying that the money will serve as a point of contact for her healing or salvation if she had mental problems. The sad thing is that no one else seemed to care. Have we lost kindness in the race to 'make ends meet'? I wonder!