LOSE THAT PREJUDICE

Good day everyone. This post is really, really for those that graduated from Unity Schools (Federal Government Colleges), though it applies to anyone that claims to be educated.

 

The Federal Government of Nigeria decided to establish unity schools in all states of the federation as a model to foster much needed understanding, patriotism and national unity among among the disputing tribes through education.

 

It is disheartening to find some products of these Unity Schools who are bigots, tribalists, ethnic warlords and others who do not inspire anyone to go to school. Going to school AT ALL and a Unity School, in particular, is not to show off and not only to help secure a good job. We all need to try to learn about other cultures and tribes. Your education is INCOMPLETE if all you know is your "father's backyard".

 

You need to be open-minded enough to ACCOMMODATE other people's views, beliefs, cultures and traditions. You don't have to AGREE with their views, beliefs, cultures and traditions but you should ACCOMMODATE them. Let me explain the term "ACCOMMODATE" a bit. The definition I like is "to give consideration to, allow for the special interests of various groups."

 

If we are all willing to listen to what the other person has to say instead of listening to the funny voices in your head or from your ancestors telling you that all Ijebu people like garri, all Igbo people like money or that all Hausa people marry off their underaged daughters, we will ALL lead better lives. Please lose that prejudice...

 

Have a blessed and productive day.

So, "What would Jesus do?"

How many times has someone asked me "What would Jesus do?" in order to blackmail me into doing what I don't want to and I'm not led to do? A million times? A billion times? Trillion? Zillion? Uncountable?

 

The next time you come with that emotional blackmail you use to cover up your wickedness, expect any of these answers. I'll keep adding to the list.

 

So, what would Jesus do?

 

1. I don't know but I know what I want to do...

2. I think He would ask "Wherefore think ye evil in your heart'? Matthew 9: 4 3. Maybe He'll tell you "There is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known" (Matthew 10:26). So please let me speak in the light (on my wall) the things you told me in "darkness" (inbox).

4. Maybe He'll tell you "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household (Matthew 10: 34-36). This one is specially dedicated to 'family' members that want to get away with evil because of family ties. Selah!

5. I could quote the "Woes" in Matthew 11: 21-24 to those trying to blackmail me to "forgive and forget" about the witchcraft they've displayed.

6. Maybe He'll say "O generation of vipers, how can you being evil speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh" (Matthew 12:34) 7. Maybe His response to self-righteous people seeking a 'sign' would be "An evil and adulterous generation seeketh a sign and there shall no sign be given to it but the sign of the prophet Jonas..." (Matthew 12:39) 8. He may very well say "When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return to my house from whence I came out and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself and they enter in and dwell there, and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation" (Matthew 12: 43-45). In everyday language, I think that means "Thou art idle, possessed with very wicked demons and are therefore wicked" #TheEnd

 

I'll be back with more WWJD responses in subsequent parts. Lol

 

Enjoy your day.

Evening Thoughts

Hello everyone.

I'm thinking of so many things at the same time so FB, the proper question is "What are the THINGS on your mind?", not "What's on your mind?"

 

First of all, I'm thinking of a huge opportunity I've been given to reach so many people with the message of salvation, hope, faith, love, deliverance and every other part of the Full Gospel package.

 

Also, quite frankly, I'm thinking of the e-winchcraft (I still can't stop laughing at the term) that is lying in my inbox. Should I share? Or should I just read and thank God for how much I survived without losing my "elasticity"? (Anyone that asks me to explain that one will learn some Physics today, lol). It is amusing how people will send you trash inbox, then try to emotionally blackmail you into NOT publishing their e-winchcraft for all to learn from. FTR, once you send trash to me; the control has been transferred from you to me. I'm a believer so I forgive. I'm not sure why you THINK you have the right to hurt me YET insist that I must "forgive and FORGET"...Which portion of the scriptures are you relying on to ask me to develop amnesia?...I will forgive but I won't forget. I will learn from that experience and become a better person. I will learn how to deal with predators and pretenders; wolves in sheep clothing...(If you think I'm talking about you, then it's time to change your ways). Don't hurt me then tell me to put up with it. We are not joined by the hip bone so for as long as I'm not harbouring bitterness, it's okay to maintain a respectable distance. Please engage in more productive ventures and stop monitoring others. There is NOTHING godly about monitoring others. Instead, repent of your wickedness, ask those you've hurt for forgiveness. Give them room to process the hurt and start afresh. It will take time even if they choose to resume whatever relationship you had.

 

Finally, I'm thinking about those that have been hurt by someone they once trusted/loved. There is the tendency to become bitter, guarded and jaded. I don't believe that is ideal. It's good to learn from our experiences but we shouldn't let our experiences cause us to become bitter and/or harsh people. Otherwise, we have just handed control of our lives to others. If someone can make you hit them, cry, feel sad (add your own), you haven't given God the driver's seat in your life and you're not in control either. If your actions are always reactions to someone else's (in)actions, you are a puppet living below your God-ordained potentials. You need to deal with your hurts and not let life pass you by because you're buried in self-pity, bitterness, hate etc. Let God's word help you dissolve the anger, bitterness, envy, self-pity etc. As believers, we are to do all we can to get along with others (be guided how you share personal details, though).

 

In other news, did you know that overly affectionate couples were voted as the most annoying Facebook users? Envy? Transferred aggression? Now that's one more information you probably didn't need to know, lol.

The Adventures of KNEEKEY2 on Facebook Groups (5)

Thank you for staying with me thus far and encouraging me with your comments and honest feedback.

 

If I choose to talk about every weird encounter I've had on Facebook groups, I may be on this series to the end of the year, lol. I may be many things, but I don't go out of my way to be boring. I'll tell the story that actually sowed the seed for writing this series and rush to my conclusions and recommendations.

 

I had joined a natural hair group. At the time, I was transitioning but now I've made a final commitment. It's interesting to see how devoted some are to the natural hair cause. My own wahala is that natural hair eats better food than many of us - okra, sardine, tomatoes etc. Now, you can stop wondering why food prices keep going higher, lol. Anyway, I wasn't that active in the group but I used to check in periodically.

 

One day, a post from the group showed up in my newsfeed. A lady posted about her "natural hair baby" that just died and she included a picture of the lifeless baby. It kept showing up on my newsfeed and I was pretty uncomfortable with it. Later, I saw another post where Admin were explaining why they took down the post. I paid attention to that post; I was expecting the reason to be that though the death of the child was a really sad occurrence, the mother's post was inappropriate in the group (She could have put it up on her personal wall, though. She could also have discussed with the group's Admin and they could have put up a more appropriate post on her behalf without the picture of the child's lifeless body). Instead, the reason for taking it down was because of controversy that arose as a result of people 'liking' the morbid post.

 

I shook my head as I showed myself the way out of the group. About a month later, I did a Big Chop (BC) and realised that I'll need some support in my natural hair journey. I sent my friend a chat and came out clean that I had left the group. She spent some time laughing at me as she told me to put on my LASTMA cap.

 

Apparently, some Admin drama had taken place and the other Admins had left the group for the founder of the group. I told her that too many of these groups are founded by people who are frustrated and unhappy about one thing or the other. That was when I decided to write this series. I'm finally getting to the conclusion of the series.

 

I had to deal with some Admin drama in the group I am an Admin in and thankfully, the lessons I learnt in Group 3 were helpful in managing the crisis. It was sensational but I realised that it takes two to tango.

 

I remember a post in one of the many groups were two grown women - one married, one unmarried- spent the night insulting themselves because the unmarried one referred to the married one's husband as an animal. Erm, these were Christian women. I could tell you about a Christian woman who claims that we are all Delilahs. I could tell you about Christian women who have no qualms paying a doctor to carry out an abortion on an underage maid who was raped by their husbands. I can tell you about the adventures of KNEEKEY2 as a myth buster or dwell on the naughty post my friend started and which I actively sustained to capture every grammatical error we found on and off Facebook. I promised that the post would be an everlasting post; I'm glad to say that I have let it go but (un)fortunately a Facebook page is now dedicated to that cause, lol. I have learnt more about the Biblical position on marriage, divorce and remarriage. I have been annoyed with countless posts that started with "Is it a sin to ..." or "I'm a silent member of this group. I've never commented or posted ..." (I'm still struggling to understand the relevance of the 'silent member' line). I have seen people settle family quarrels on group walls (smh!). Each of these themes require dedicated posts and maybe, I'll get to it one of these days.

 

In conclusion, I'll say that I've seen the good, the bad and the ugly side of Facebook groups. I still believe that Facebook groups (particularly the Christian ones) have the potential for great good, if used lawfully. The personal issues that some may be unable or too uncomfortable to ask in church can be asked "Nicodemously". Same for prayer points. There are timely posts that I get to read daily in my favorite group.

 

I have a few recommendations for Group leaders and members. Please feel free to add yours and tag anyone you believe will benefit from reading this.

 

1. Christian group leaders need to be sure that they are truly led to start the group. God values human lives and it isn't wise to play around with human lives because you're bored, angry or frustrated.

 

2. Group leaders need to be clear on what the group is about and do as much as they can to ensure that the group's vision, mission, objectives, code of conduct etc are concise and communicated to all.

One of the reasons I admire Group 2 is that while I was there, they had a Pinned Post that stated the group's vision and objectives. It also includes links to other important posts.

 

3. Group leaders should find opportunities to show that they genuinely care about their members. They should also do all they can to maintain their members' trust. Please get their permission before sharing confidential details on the group wall. If you choose to share so that others can provide counsel, please protect the identity of the poster.

 

4. Group leaders should please use the "Delete" option wisely. Any post/comment that is clearly against the group's vision and objectives should be deleted. Any post/comment that may not be what you personally prefer but does not contravene the group's vision and objectives should stay. You should be able to deal with contrary opinions, otherwise, you really shouldn't be in charge of the group. However, rude/hate comments shouldn't be tolerated in a bid to keep the peace.

 

5. The most organized groups I belong to require Admin approval before posts can appear on the group wall. I believe that if we had given ourselves that capability in Group 3, we could have ensured that no other post would be approved during the Bible Study period and saved ourselves the drama that followed.

 

6. If you have a group member that keeps putting up posts/comments that are clearly against the group's vision and objectives, I think there needs to come a time when you let such a person go (i.e, you remove them from the group). Before you do that, though, I think you should try discussing with them and be open-minded in your discussions. I think the option of blocking posts from such an individual while the discussions are going on should be used. If you can all come to an amicable way forward, please remember to remove the block, lol.

 

7. Group leaders, please, please and please, avoid monitoring your members on Facebook like the FBI/CIA. Please stop going on their walls to check out what they are saying or not saying about your group. The most ridiculous one I've seen is a case where someone was removed from Group A because she made a comment in Group B about the characteristics of some groups that put her off. She didn't even mention Group A yet the Admin felt slighted enough by her comment IN ANOTHER GROUP! Smh!

 

8. Group leaders, please understand that your group members are adults who are free to associate with whoever they choose to. They are not duty-bound to fight your personal battles. Also, please respect their time.

I heard of a case where a group member was given till 1pm, I think, on a week day to explain herself or face disciplinary actions. I was wondering if she wasn't permitted to go to work/school because she belonged to the group.

 

9. Group leaders, please do what you can to carry every LEGITIMATE category of members in your group along. In some of the Christian groups I travelled through, it appeared that the married ladies were superior to the unmarried ones. I agree that marriage is honorable but I don't agree that a married lady is superior to another because she has a ring. Then the nonsense about those who are somehow more special because they had vaginal births as opposed to those that required/opted for a C/S. Seriously, I can't deal with all the funny ways in which women codedly compete with others...I think Admin have a huge role to play in minimizing the power play.

Personally, as an Admin, I am not likely to approve a post that suggests that vaginal birth is better than assisted births or one that talks about God rolling away the shame of singlehood. Hian!

 

10. Please check with people before adding them to your group. Sell the group to them; try to get them excited about the group before adding them. It's great to have many members but it's greater to have members who are actively engaged and blessed by the group.

 

11. People, please do me a favour - ask for and read the Code of Conduct when you join or are added to a group. I respect those that ask "What is this group about?" at the outset. Also, please spend some time, about a month, to observe the group. If it isn't working for you, please use the "Exit Group" option. If you're like me, you'll choose not to be re-added to the group again.

I have tried with groups, though I was added by well meaning friends who didn't seek my consent to a good number of these groups. My waka-waka led me to a group called "Soar with XYZ". I left the group the same day I was added. I was so sure that there was some withcraft involved somehow.

 

This same person had added me to another group that has something to do with motherhood. I already suspected that she was using groups as her means of escape from whatever was making her unhappy as she seemed to have a post in every hour (That's my suspicion for anyone that posts so frequently but I know I have to dodge spears on that one, lol).

 

12. Please respect what the group is about. If you have to ask if it is okay to post something in a group, it probably isn't. The good news is that there is probably a group that is dedicated to whatever it is you were going to post...I actually searched for and belong to groups dedicated to Maths and Chemistry (I need therapy, right?) I even belong to one that captures whatever they can about Nigerian history.

 

13. Please be respectful with your posts and comments. Unfortunately, there are rude people and social media allows them to hide behind their computers to spew nonsense. There is the strong desire resident in all of us to crush the opposition. Your maturity is revealed by how measured and calm you are in your response to such.

I remember how, as myth-busters, we invaded one of the many "How to keep a man faithful" posts in Group 1. We kept going on and on. The lady that put up the post tried to explain herself once and after that, she chipped in every now and then with a funny comment. She turned it around and earned my respect, though we do not agree on the role of a woman in keeping a man faithful.

I had disagreements (in principle) with some others but we quickly agreed to disagree and saved ourselves the headache/­embarrassment of staying awake all night to engage in silly internet fights.

 

14. If you feel hurt by any post/comment, use the conflict resolution steps Jesus instituted.

A) Discuss it with the person that put up the post or made the comment (preferably inbox). Be open-minded enough to get to the bottom of the matter and to resolve the issue. Hopefully, you'll gain a brother/sister.

B) If you are unable to resolve the issue, involve Admin. Admin should do all they can to be objective and unbiased in their dealings. Let everyone know what they did right/wrong and drive towards consensus.

C) If you are unable to reach consensus because someone is unwilling to own up to their faults/errors, remove such a person from the group (Sounds harsh right? Well, no be me talk am) Remember, though, that everyone is dealing with one challenge or the other. It doesn't justify hurtful behaviour but it explains it. However, if the handshake is extending beyond the elbow, Facebook has features that can help you rid yourself of such persons...

 

15. Beware of getting caught up with "group think". Have and own your personal convictions. It's great to be open-minded but be careful so that your brains don't fall out. Any group that you have to engage in evil to defend is not worth belonging to. If you have to stop talking to someone to prove your loyalty to the group, there is a problem.

I have unfriended and even blocked some people because I, Adenike, deemed it necessary for world peace but if I have to stop associating with someone I have no personal problems with just to prove my loyalty to a group, I'll be using the "Exit Group" option, thanks.

 

With these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to convince you that there is value in belonging to sensible Facebook groups.

 

I can't round up without letting you all know how much I detest Secret groups. The only 2 secret groups I belong to have justifiable BUSINESS reasons why they are secret groups. Any time I get added to a secret group, I QUICKLY leave the group. All that flashes in my head is "SECRET CULT". Please, please and please, don't add me to secret group if there is no business need for it. Thanks a lot.

 

Have a nice and productive day.

 

You can catch up on previous posts in the blog.

MY LITTLE FRIEND

I woke up with a BANGING headache! I had made a mental note to take some aspirin yesterday but I managed to forget. I couldn't read anything! I managed to get up, put something in my stomach and take the aspirin. I rested as much as I could, though I had to ensure that Li'l Madam was adequately taken care of. I was reliably informed that she was conducting the music and dance steps in "Angelina Ballerina" and I can hear her singing along with whoever is singing on TV, lol. 

 

Anyway, I had to go out to do some critical business and buy some foodstuff. As I was heading out, I heard my little friend's voice. "I want to come to your house" I begged her to let me come back from where I was going and she reluctantly agreed. I went out to do my business and I actually took longer than I planned. I was soo looking forward to coming back to lie down.

 

As I got back into the compound, my little friend quickly bolted out and followed me. I was trying to tell her to go back home and get permission from her mum but she refused to listen to me. Just as I was about to resign to my fate and let her into our house, I heard someone come out of their apartment. It was her elder sister! She says that their mum wanted to have a word with my little friend. My little friend fought tooth and nail but was unable to free herself from Big Sister's grip.

 

I quickly went into our apartment, lol. I'll have to go and get her as soon as I have enough energy for 2 princesses. Whew!

 

Welcome to my world

The Adventures of KNEEKEY2 on Facebook Groups (4)

Someone added me (without my permission) to a group for couples. Finally, a group with men and women to discuss home truths, I thought. I was tired of women only groups by then so it was supposed to be a welcome relief. I still ran into the problem of the funny cultural beliefs about marriage. Then they twist scriptures in amazing ways to support their cultural beliefs. If you want to run YOUR marriage/relationship based on your cultures and traditions, no problem. Twisting scriptures to match your culture and tradition is a "no no" as far as I'm concerned. Anyway, the Admin made a weird pseudo-scriptural comment on a post and I picked holes in her comment. She deleted her comment and made it seem like I was talking to myself and off-topic. She then started deleting every of my comments. I put in a final comment where I told her off before I saw myself out of the group. I then warned the lady that added me to the group never to add me to groups without checking with me first.

 

I had returned to Group 1 by this time and the drama there was still the same, if not more. Lady B put up a post in Group 1 and I liked it (because it made sense). I got a message from her insulting me for 'liking' so I can monitor her post, report to Admin and get the post deleted. I told her that I didn't need to 'like' her post in order to do what she was alleging. I told her that I could follow her post without her knowing and I could report without 'liking'. I think I must have prayed about this particular interaction with Lady B because by the end of our discussion, she was sharing her challenges and I was praying with her about them. She also gave me some valuable feedback on the image I was unknowingly projecting. She talked about me strutting around like the group (Group 3) was my personal property. I actually took her seriously this time and had some sober reflection. I asked people close to me and I realised that what she said was really true - I am smart but I wasn't humble about it. I am so grateful that Lady B and I had that chat. It was eye-opening. I had blocked Lady B and I deleted one of the Admins of Group 3. I just recently reconnected with the Admin lady. I think I'm in a good place with her in my heart now.

 

Back in Group 1, people would put up silly posts and get offended when comments were made about the silliness of the posts. They'll recommend a "waka pass" if you don't have any productive comment and then turn around to complain when their subsequent posts get no like or comment. I usually felt drained after going through the group wall every day.

 

One of the group members put up a post asking Admin to implement controls to clean up the group wall. I was quick to agree with her but Admin gave a million and one reasons (excuses) why this could not be done. In the course of the discussion, the lady mentioned a group that had such controls in place and it was working wonders. I chatted with her privately and she added me to the group. I am still a member of THAT group today and I love the group.

 

I will like to acknowledge and thank the founder of Group 1. She called me after I put to bed to congratulate us and to ask me to please return to Group 1 (I had left the group at the time. The drama that led to my exit will be told sometime in the future, I believe). She talked about working together to change lives etc. It was convincing and inspiring. I returned to the group when I could but I didn't see any improvement in the conditions that made me leave. I left the group AGAIN for reasons I already gave in Part 1.

 

I picked up friends who I consider to be closer than sisters in Group 1. I didn't even know that one of them was an Admin in the group. She practically held my hand and was very instrumental in my journey back up.

 

I wish I could say that my impact in Group 1 was all positive and great but the sad thing is that it wasn't. I KNOW that I inadvertently hurt a good number of people with the attitude Lady B pointed out to me. I found a message in my "Other" messages a few months after it had been sent. The lady was obviously angry about some comment I made but I didn't even remember what she was talking about. I would just comment and move on to the next drama, lol. It was fun for me but I was hurting someone in the process. I apologize to everyone I hurt with my arrogance; please "forgive and forget", lol. Seriously, I'm sorry I hurt you. I hope that you'll find it in your heart to forgive me and maybe allow me into your circle in the near future.

 

While I was in Group 1, I connected with a wonderful single mum. Her story started out "one-kain" but today, I'm so inspired by how she didn't let some poor decisions ruin her glorious future. I also met a most fascinating young lady. Our first interaction was not pleasant. She told me a few years later that I was unbending like an iron rod (Am I that rigid? Ah!). I see her today taking giant strides. Her story inspires me. I will share more of such stories as I remember them.

 

When I was an Admin in Group 3, there was concern about the "silent members". I've found in every group that this category of members keep Admins awake at night. A lot of the (in)actions of Admin stem from the effort to reduce the number of "silent members". I decided to identify the "silent members" and ask them what the deal was. Many of them said they were just plain busy as opposed to the misconception that they were disenchanted. A small percentage of them were observing the group to see if it meets their expectations. I found out later that some are there to pick up gist from the group and use it as material for gossip or their posts (as I'm doing now, lol).

 

Those private chats were priceless. I got to know more about the members and they became real people to me and not just profile names. I realised that they actually began to participate more in the group proving that "people don't care how much you know; they want to know how much you care". In my opinion, that's how great groups are formed. Unfortunately, caring that much also increases the likelihood of saying that ONE hurtful sentence that cuts so deeply, so we need to let the Holy Spirit lead us.

 

I decided to minimize the time I was spending on Facebook as I had to adjust to motherhood and focus on crucial relationships, particularly my fellowship with God. I had to leave most of the groups I belonged to. I stayed on in the wonderful group that I talked about earlier and the one I was led to as I left Group 3. I also unfriended some people that I felt were toxic influences.

 

I promised a 4 part series but I realise I need one more post to complete this series. Thanks for your understanding.

The Adventures of KNEEKEY2 on Facebook Groups (3)

I had personal clashes with one of the other Admins and while it was great overseeing the affairs of the group, I realised that running a group without a defined vision/mission is an uphill task. I kept asking what the vision of the group was and no one could give a satisfactory answer.

 

Group 3 agreed to have Bible Study every Sunday. A topic was posted by 1pm and group members were expected to contribute to the post. I must have snuck out of Church Service more than once to put up the post. I felt passionate enough about the Bible Study to do that. It was an unofficial rule that the Bible Study post was to be commented on by all. With the benefit of hindsight, I can see how domineering the unofficial rule was. One Sunday, the Bible Study post went up as usual. We had a couple of comments. A young lady, who I shall call Lady B, promised to be back to comment.

 

Someone else put up a post asking for ideas on how to surprise her husband on his birthday. It was a nice post but the timing was a bit off. I realise again, with the benefit of hindsight, that if we had picked the option of getting Admin to approve posts before they appear on the wall, it would have saved us the headache that ensued.

 

Of course, a lot of ladies flocked to Post 2 and our Bible Study post was sitting there like an orphan, lol. Of course, it caused discomfort among the Admin members.

 

Some Admin members commented on and were following Post 2 in order to maintain order. They kept hinting that the ladies should try to attend Bible Study and not totally ignore the post like that. Well, the ladies were not interested in Bible Study that day. The comments kept pouring into Post 2 while Post 1 looked on. I stayed away from Post 2 as Post 1 was my darling that Sunday...

 

Then Lady B posted a very lewd comment on Post 2. It was unnecessarily lewd. I actually wasn't following the post because I was sulking about the abandonment of my darling Post 1, lol. The Admins following Post 2 kept complaining about the direction of Post 2. I told them that if I step in, I'll take NO prisoners...After what seemed like a set-up, it fell my lot to restore order in Post 2. One of the Admins claimed she had network issues and couldn't address the issue (though the network issues 'miraculously' did not stop her from whining about Post 2 in the Admin Facebook group chat).

 

I contacted the poster, explained why I had to delete her post and asked her to please post the next day. I finally went on the post, let them know that though I was acting as Admin, I was in 100% agreement and relished the thought of deleting the post. I then spent time to save what I considered to be wonderful comments and deleted the post.

 

I went on to enjoy my day. That day was one of the numerous Mother's Day we had that year. I found a nasty Facebook message from Lady B waiting for me the next time I checked.

 

"Why are u acting like a boss? What is ur f** problem!! Why must u delete my comments"?

 

I responded when I was calm enough with

 

"I deleted the entire post, not just your comments. And I saved your comments that were relevant to the original question. I can give them back to you. Please don't address me again using the 'f-word', otherwise I won't respond.

You can read the Pinned Post to learn more about the designated group activities. It's late, otherwise, I'll have taken down your post as well. I plan to do that tomorrow so you can save the comments you consider useful before I get to the post. You can take it down yourself too. Thanks."

 

[She had put up a post asking a Bible Study related question]

 

Lady B and I had some previous correspondence - I asked her to modify one of her comments on a post as it had a curse word. It took a while to convince her to do so. With the benefit of hindsight, I think I should have just deleted the comment.

 

Lady B went on to put up a silly post with f-bombs on the group wall that night. Apparently, some of the group members saw it before another Admin deleted the post. And that's how I found myself entangled in a drama that lasted for 3 or 4 days. I mean it - I didn't do productive work for those days because of people that I had never met in real life. I was really pissed off by the way some of the other Admins refused to back me for taking down Post 2. Those with "network issues" suddenly had great connections to 'arbitrate' in useless 'reconciliatory' meetings where the other Admin that tried to address the issue when I went to bed and I were essentially objects of ridicule and a half-hearted apology was given, followed by 'advice' from the "offender" generally absolving herself of guilt. I wasn't as offended about the half-hearted apology as I was with Admin's insistence on "forgiving and forgetting", which essentially means you're to pretend like the nasty experience never happened and bend over backwards to prove to the offender that you have amnesia and cannot remember any of the negative feelings generated. I was even tasked with helping Lady B "rebuild her reputation".

 

I let them know, after 3 days or so that I wasn't interested in continuing with the waste of time that the 'reconciliatory meeting' was turning out to be. I stepped down as Half/Quarter Admin and took my place as a member, primarily to avoid the emotional blackmail of "What would Jesus do?" (Sometimes, the response to that question in my mind is "Maybe He'll whip them the same way as He did in the temple?" Lol).

 

I finally left the group the first time when I woke up early one morning and was sickened by the comments on one of the posts. As I was going over that post, I had a strong leading to leave the group. I left and immediately searched for a group that addressed my actual needs at the time. I found the group and joined it. I was eventually removed from the group without as much as a confrontation (thank God). When I asked why I was removed, I wasn't given a definite answer. I suspect that I was too blunt and direct for the group and that it was time to move on.